After a few weeks of The Wretched, we’ve finally reached the end of Act 1. Our core characters, Oliver, Click, Colt, and Alana, have met and are on a mission to learn what’s happening to Xanadu and get the fuck out. Let’s go over the reflection notes for this final installment.
Our lead woman, Alana, was the hardest character to name in this entire thing. I believe Alana was a last minute change for the final draft also. Not sure what it was about her, but I just couldn’t pick a name that matched the character in my head. In this version, she’s named and designed after Alana from Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples’s comic Saga. That’s lazy on my part for sure.
On the other hand, Colt was a named in an instant. He’s John Wayne. Simple enough.
Alana is asking about the Caltai system, but did I make it clear previously in the script pages that this is where our planet Xanadu and everybody lives now? Worldbuilding is cool, but sometimes I’m not sure if I’m laying it out well enough for new readers or not.
Also, how big is this system anyways Raf? Like a few planets, a dozen? I honestly don’t know. While I understand why people wouldn’t want to be neighboring planets with these crazy folks, is it really that dangerous for them? These are just little thoughts I have about the logic of this made-up story I created I guess.
Similarly to the bar scene back at Deltri’s Bar with Cassidy and Dez (we’re only 23 pages into this thing and we’ve already had two bar scenes, remember last week?), this scene also shows my weaknesses in writing dialogue. I don’t think any of these people sound different, outside of forced accents I wrote in for Colt or somebody else. This was written a while ago now, but I haven’t written enough to confidently say I’ve gotten much better at this. I should really practice more…
Criminals AND scientists, they know something’s up with the sun.
Click and his people have a shaman and a pilgramage. These are interesting details for Click, but I haven’t even given his people a name yet. Looking over my notes too, and I don’t think I ever did. Based off of my what you’ve read so far, do any of you have any ideas what to call them?
Daddy issues for Click. Is this an overused trope? I kind of use it as a dig for a certain comic writer I know because it’s in almost all of his stories, but he’s way more successful than me and his books are really good anyways too. Read God Country if you haven’t already! You’ll see what I mean.
Click has been away from his tribe for 10 years now? He must’ve done something really bad…
All those mental notes Oliver was making about the landing port at Dnai Avo coming in handy right about now. I didn’t mention it earlier, and I don’t know if I ever had it as part of my initial writing plans, but I think Oliver would’ve been the security and survelliance guy for the Untau Jai gang back on Paluant. That would’ve explained how he recognized the defenses so quickly back at the port and how they could escape now.
“Guess you’re riding bitch then.” That’s an awesome line to end with.
Unfortunately, this is as far as we go with these characters in this format. These pages were the final paper for Screenwriting that semester at Cleveland State in 2015. Afterwards I had dreams of turning it into a comic, but nothing has materialized yet. Maybe someday. But so I don’t leave you all with a cliffhanger ending, next week I’ll share the full plot outline so you can see where the rest of the story is going. Thanks for reading!
::RC